Buhtt sex?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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