you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
