I love black thongs
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
