gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
