i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I'm really busy with my period
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