trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
