Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Moan for me like Helen Keller
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
