Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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