okay pat passed out under dana's car
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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