he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
