the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
there is puke in my bra ... again
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
