she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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