He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
