a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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