she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
