we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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