You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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