You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
