question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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