I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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