Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
