There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
