You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize