Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
