Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
