Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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