If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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