yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros, bitch!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
