Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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