You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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