Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
