No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
