yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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