I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
