He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You are the jesus of drinking
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
