he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
