Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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