Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
