I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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