Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
