I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
