? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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