That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
