Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
