just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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