My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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