I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
