Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
