the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
