Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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