I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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