There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize