These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
