Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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