I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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