it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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