maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize