Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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