Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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