They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
