I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
