I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
