She announced her abortion via fbk
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
