So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
